Open Relationships


In this section of the site we attempt to cover all the issues and also the myths surrounding “open relationships”. It’s true that opening up your relationship will not work for everyone, but for some, it can work better than a traditional relationship.

Open relationships are about far more than just sex and can bring a whole new aspect to life, however, an open relationship requires 100% honesty, something that many couples never achieve even in long term monogamy.

Firstly, WHY??

There are many different reasons why people decide to try an open relationship and indeed, many different levels and set's of rules, depending on the couple. Depending where you were born, or grew up, you will have a set of "morals" and beliefs that are practiced by the majority of your society.

Looking at relationships, especially in the UK and Europe, monogamy is generaly accepted and practised by most people. Sometimes the choice is made through religious suggestion, but for many it is simply the "norm" because that is what everybody else does. It is ingrained in you from day one and you simply come to accept that one woman, one man is your target goal.

Monogomy works well, sometimes, however, so do open relationships! You could say that monogomy is simply a relationship "choice", just because it works for some, it most certainly does not for others! Having an open relationship is simply a choice too and just as in monogomy, it works well for some and not for others! Many people simply "copy" what everyone else is doing, without considering if that's what they really want, when of course, there are always alternative ways.

Common Questions

For many of us it is very difficult to see how an open relationship could work, fears and misconceptions about the subject can interfere with the ability to unerstand how it could be beneficial. Also for many of us, just the thought of brining the subject up with a partner and thier reactions can prevent us from ever expressing our true selves.

Monogomy is "sort of" like owning each other, however in an open relationship the couple accepts that owning the rights to each other is not love but possesiveness. Monogomy has a narrow view of love, suggesting that a person can only one person successfuly, do you think that's true? Is it not possible to have feelings and even sexual experiences with another person, without spoiling what you have with your partner? The fact is, as many of us have never tried it that way, we simply do not know how it would be and the fear of the unknown, plus fears of loosing out partner to another, stops us in our tracks.

A non-monogamous couple tend to accept that their relationship is "as is", rather than how it's supposed to be. There is always more than one way to do something and just because you do it different it does not mean you are wrong, maybe it's everyone else that get's it wrong? Open relationships sometimes do not work and just as in a monogamous relationship, sometimes things come to an end. The truth is the relationship was probably destined that way in the first place, all types of relationships can end up that way.

In monogamy when someone "cheats" with another it is normally kept secret, even if you are not cheating, how many personal thoughts can you really tell your partner. In an open relationship, personal thoughts and experiences can be shared and "cheating" is simply not required and thoughts and feelings about other partners can be aired more freely. The ability to be this truthfull with your partner, without negative consequences, brings couple much closer together.

In the end we should look at our relationship as a special friendship, rather that ownership, would you fall out with your best friend just because they had other friends? Well of course not, but where sex is involved that is what many people do. However, many couples soon find out that when another person is introduced into the relationship it enhances sex within the primary relationship too and as partner is getting good feelings from someone else, the positive energy is injected into the main relationship.

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